


Il n'y a que la foi qui sauve

by sybilius



Series: l’espoir fait vivre [2]
Category: Disco Elysium (Video Game)
Genre: Anxiety, Canonical Game Style, Control Issues, Cuddling, Early Relationship, Established Relationship, Food, Hurt/Comfort, Hypothermia, Insomnia, Kim Kitsuragi Whump Simulator, Kim Perspective, M/M, PTSD flashbacks, Skills chatting it up, Slight Canon Divergence, Thought Cabinet, Whump, postcanon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-14 17:55:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28549746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sybilius/pseuds/sybilius
Summary: A snowstorm sweeps into Revachol.MEMENTO MORI [Medium: Success]: Only to find its home in your bones.
Relationships: Harry Du Bois/Kim Kitsuragi
Series: l’espoir fait vivre [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2091684
Comments: 16
Kudos: 41





	Il n'y a que la foi qui sauve

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Ça ira](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22598530) by [theonlytwin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theonlytwin/pseuds/theonlytwin). 



> The title of the fic is literally “nothing but faith saves us” though a good colloquial translation would be “faith is half the battle”. 
> 
> I've kept up the canon-divergence where Harry and Kim stay at their separate precincts. I think it'd be easier for them to maintain professionalism, and I like the idea of them consciously maintaining their connection. 
> 
> As per the tags, this was written as a fic which leaves the circumstances of initiating their relationship a little ambiguous (for now). They've kissed a few times, little more than that. Retroactively, you can imagine this as canon with the conversation (per "a tout pourquoi") outlining some kind of vague commitment between them. 
> 
> With my fondest thanks to my beta, Fyu (Fyurama). They recommend listening to this song from the Disco Elysium soundtrack with the fic. 
> 
> Kim’s stats are kindly borrowed (with blessing!) from theonlytwin’s linked fic. I’ll reproduce their fantastic description in the endnotes.
> 
> The PTSD flashback, if you have need of triggers, involves specifically Kim finding another Seolite character frozen to death. I don't really linger on the details of it but I imagine it to be something that would have affected Kim a lot.

The thing that keeps you half-waking is the cold. 

GENIUS LOCI [Medium: Success] :The coast, blowing in a late spring storm from far beyond. Like the pale itself reaching for you, when you turn your head to the cheap glass of your window, it’s already patterned with frost. 

Two floors of brick and mortar down, the city streets ache with the wind’s howl. Ghosts of luxury wares, gleaming with hope and the sticky-tallow promise of money, winking in the windows where brown paper panes are yellowing at their edges. What does it evoke to you? Cursed commercial, _trompé par l'ambition_ or a simple matter of letting go of the controls, does the reason for their downfall matter? They’re lifeless as the dandelion stems, sickly and brown at the corners of the pavement. 

STARGAZER [Challenging: Success]: They found their way through the concrete last spring. They’ll do so again. 

You blink at the grey plaster ceiling. Focusing your eyes without your glasses is a challenge. 

QUICK DRAW [Challenging: Success]: You can’t have slept more than two hours. 

GENTLEMAN [Easy: Success]: You’re expected at eight sharp. 

OFFICER [Medium: Failure]: There’s simply no reason for you to not be present. 

You reach blindly for your glasses on the counter, hearing the beep of your coffee maker finishing its intended duties. 

1. **Pick up your glasses and sit up.**

2\. Lie back down for a few minutes. 

You lurch upwards and wander towards the familiar aroma, feeling more yourself when you take a sip from the plain white mug. 

JOIE DE VIE [Easy: Success]: Actually, the mug Harry got you is better.

ACE [Medium: Success]: *Why* do we keep that at the precinct? People are talking about it. 

SACRE COEUR [Easy: Success]: That's where he sees you most. 

The coffee puts enough wherewithal into your autopilot. You get dressed methodically, without having to think about it, grab the brown paper bag from your fridge, sling your bag over your shoulder. You nearly forget to place the case notes back in your bag. They were strewn across the kitchen table the night before. Once you’ve gathered them, the blue notebook feels reassuring in your hands. That confidence doubles as the bomber jacket settles on your shoulders. You zip it up tight. 

GEAR HEAD [Easy: Success]: TIME FOR THE BEST PART OF THE MORNING!

COUPRIS KINEEMA - Go slow. 

1\. Drive the car carefully to Precinct 57. 

2\. **Drive** **the car a little bit recklessly.**

3\. [Ace - Legendary] Drive the car like you’re in a chase. 

GEAR HEAD [Medium: Success]: The Kineema said to go slow, garçon. We are _not_ doing that. 

1. **Drive the car carefully to Precinct 57.  
**

2\. [Ace - Legendary] Drive the car like you’re in a chase. 

The car purrs contentedly. You can nearly feel the thrum of the levers under your gloved hands, grounding and earthen. The heater kicks in faster than your apartment, more effectively as well. The fan blows past the ghost of old memories, a hint of alcohol spilled by a man gasping for breath in the back seat. 

OFFICER [Challenging: Success]: Lt. Double-Yefreitor Harry Du Bois, two days after you met him. You had left him to his own devices in Martinaise, needing to escort the body to the morgue. While you made what conversation you could with your fellow officers, a radio call fuzzed into the 57th, calling all nearby stations, a man in RCM uniform passed out by the nameless fishing village in Martinaise. 

GENTLEMAN [Easy: Success]: You were on the road as fast as you could manage.

MEMENTO MORI [Medium: Success]: You had to struggle with his snow-soaked muscle all the way back to your Kineema, force the water down his ravaged throat. 

STARGAZER [Trivial: Success]: Things are so different now. 

QUICK DRAW [Challenging: Failure]: Are they? After a month?

You press on the accelerator, gentle yet sure. The streets of Revachol are calm. At least for now. At an intersection your eyes wander to a thrift shop, sporting a truly awful tie in the window. 

JOIE DE VIE [Trivial: Success]: The pattern reminds you of the day of the week -- Friday. Harry will be by after work to pick up kebabs.

MEMENTO MORI [Challenging: Success]: Ten days since you gave him that ultimatum. 

SACRE COEUR [Medium: Success]: Ultimatum is a strong word. You were kind. You told him not to leave. 

STARGAZER [Challenging: Failure]: You’ve never tried that conversation before. Your past romantic connections were tenuous, made to snap like cheap elastic. This is a tightrope; the conversation a careful step across the abyss. It might set him off. It might make him worse. 

1\. Is **that likely?  
**

2\. What’s done is done (Discard thought.) 

SACRE COEUR: [Easy: Success]: Recovery has at least some dependence on a good safety net. 

1\. **I should think carefully about my role in this (Proceed.)**

2\. I should ask Harry how I can best support him (Proceed.)

3\. I should avoid the subject from now on. (Discard thought.) 

**Thought gained: Recovery Likelihood Calculus**

**Internalize Thought:** 15h, -1 Whisper Light, -1 Quick Draw. 

You do your best to push that to the back of mind. You’re a professional. Personal matters can wait. 

It’s not quite painful leaving the warmth of the Kineema for the exposed streets, but it’s close.The chill wind of the coming storm sings against the bare skin of your arms. You tug your gloves a little closer and walk into the slate-grey concrete of the 57th. 

OFFICER [Challenging: Success]: You pour yourself the customary second cup of coffee, nod steadily to your colleagues. They have every confidence you’ll crack the case.

ACE [Easy: Success]: You’re Kim motherfucking Kitsuragi. Come on. 

You set your mug down on the clean surface of the desk. The printed words ‘10-4. Coffee that.’ with ‘Firewalker out’ scrawled in black beneath coax a small smile on your lips. You get started, opening up your notebook on the desk, laying out the pieces of evidence from the night before one by one. No one disturbs you. 

OFFICER [Medium: Success]: The orderliness of the 57th is soothing. Alice handles the radio-phone with ease, Detective Du Maurier paces as he turns over a case just as tough to crack as yours. 

WHISPER LIGHT [Challenging: Success]: Could the arsonist’s motives have something to do with the brochures, tattered in pieces on the nearby street corner?

You snap open a plastic bag, sifting through the pieces of torn glossy paper. When you arrange them you can read a long, involved paragraph describing the “mutiny of the blue aspiration”. 

ANALYST [Challenging: Failure]: These notes don’t look different than last night. If anything, the CASE OF THE ROUNDED THUMB makes even less sense.

By the time you pull out your slightly dried ham sandwich for a very late lunch, a headache is starting to push through your temples. 

JOIE DE VIE [Medium: Success]: You could do with that cigarette. That might help. 

Work isn’t over yet. You exchange mechanical pleasantries with your coworkers. Your detachment from the social sphere of the precinct makes you more effective. 

DISCOURSE [Easy: Success]: You dodge yet another question about the specifics of the CASE OF THE HANGED MAN.

OFFICER [Easy: Success]: It’s been well over a month and they’re still fixating on it. They care far more about the pissing contest than you ever did.

Anything that needed to be said about the case was in the files, and the newspaper. 

ACE [Trivial: Success]: Not to mention it keeps up the mystique. 

Before you make it back to your desk to spin your wheels at the case file, Alice catches your arm. 

“Radio call. Martinaise -- someone in an RCM jacket, passed out on the boardwalk. Sounded familiar, if you want to -- “

GENIUS LOCI [Challenging: Failure]: NOT TWICE. NOT LUCKY TWICE.

You swallow panic, gathering in your throat. The other detectives gave you a hard time then, for running out as fast as you did. 

ANALYST [Challenging: Success]: Are you sure it’s him?

1\. Drive out to Martinaise

2\. **Ask** **Alice to connect to the 41st. Find out where Harry is.**

Alice nods seriously, dialing in the call. You can only make out parts of the conversation, clipped, professional, but when she hangs up, her expression is gentle.

“Satellite Officer Viquemare put Harry’s location in Martinaise. Out of radio contact for a few days…” she trails off. You try, and fail to school your expression. 

“They don’t seem worried --” she adds. 

SACRE COEUR [Trivial: Success]: She can tell that you are. 

You’re out the door with your keys before she can even finish the sentence. 

WHISPER LIGHT [Easy: Success]: Near _exactly_ the same as a few days after you met him. You found Harry passed out in the gathering snow, his case notes near-strewn in the wind. 

MEMENTO MORI [Challenging: Failure]: Death had crawled all over his freezing skin, then and now. 

You wrench open the car door to find it has cooled dramatically since this morning. The lingering smell of alcohol is nauseating to you now. You start the Kineema, your hands shaking just slightly. You grip your gloves to your palm, hard. 

QUICK DRAW [Medium: Success]: You probably shouldn’t be driving, actually. 

You discard the comment, pressing the accelerator as hard as you dare. 

GEAR HEAD [Easy: Failure]: YEAH! You’ll find him. You’ll find him. 

The rest of the drive passes in silence, save for you swearing under your breath. You have to find Harry before the storm arrives. Thoughts of relapse, each worse than the last churn at the back of your mind, icy and relentless as a tide creeping up on a crashed vehicle. 

GEAR HEAD [Easy: Success]: Whoa, watch it garçon! Stop here! 

The Whirling-in-Rags looks the same as it did roughly a month ago, snow decorating the glowing sign, the balcony’s edge. You park there, starting at a jog towards the locks that lead to the fishing village. 

JOIE DE VIE [Medium: Failure]: This was easier when Harry was here.

QUICK DRAW [Easy: Failure]: Pick up the pace so he _can be_ , fuck's sake.

You feel winded, though that might be icy panic creeping its way through your veins. Damnit, adrenaline is supposed to make you _more_ effective, not less. Across the locks, pointedly not turning your gaze to the skeleton of Harry’s car. You resist the urge to shout his name. 

MEMENTO MORI [Trivial: Success]: It lingers, like an unsaid thought you’ve kept under your tongue. 

GENTLEMAN [Easy: Success]: Do your best to stay calm.

Your plough through a puddle of partially thawed seawater, soaking your boots. The houses look even more forlorn and abandoned than you remember. 

GENIUS LOCI [Challenging: Failure]: Retrace your steps, where was he before?

The beaten-down wood of the shack he’d stayed at is lifeless -- you have a hurried exchange with the washerwoman before you remember that the report came in for a man on the boardwalk.

SACRE COEUR [Easy: Success]: It seems she can sense your turmoil. You see the pitiful empathy in her tired eyes. 

You suddenly remember the frozen corpse by the dockside, slid off the bench, crumpled like the kebab wrapper left in the trash. 

TRIVIA [Challenging: Success]: Frostbite can occur after twenty-four minutes at a temperature of -18 centigrade and 24 kilometers per hour sea winds.

WHISPER LIGHT [Challenging: Failure]: Could be worse if alcohol is involved.

  
The victims you’ve seen before edge at the corner of your vision, a mirage as you force the gasps of breath out running towards the boardwalk. You nearly miss your footing on the slippery surface, swearing as you continue forward.

GENIUS LOCI [Easy: Success]: The bench is empty. No death has revisited this lonely dock since the last one you knew. 

ANALYST [Challenging: Failure]: Then where the hell is he?

You pace to the edge of the dock and back, your body shaking with exertion, fear, all of the above. The rippling waves in the searing wind seem to form shapes, cryptids and all manner of sea-beasts. You pull off your glasses, fumbling in your pockets for the case of cleaner. Get ahold of yourself, Kitsuragi. Harry needs you.

SACRE COEUR [Medium: Failure]: Harry wasn’t supposed to need you, after that talk.

STARGAZER [Challenging: Failure]: This definitely followed from what you said. He’s gone off the rails from the pressure already. 

Your glasses remain stained, visibility poor. You sit down hard on the bench, willing yourself to _think as he would_. 

WHISPER LIGHT [Legendary: Failure]: Something you’re missing here...that you’re not considering.

1\. Try other locations on the boardwalk

2\. [Genius Loci - Challenging - RED] Listen to what the city says.

**3\. [Memento Mori - Challenging - RED] Consider your memories of Harry. Where would he be?**

  
  


You blink, red flashing at the edges of your vision as you whip your head frantically back and forth along the pier. Nothing stands out. If anything you feel more fixed to the bench than before, the ice creeping up on you as if your skin itself is crystallizing. You reach out your hand to the edge of the bench, exactly where the body would have been -- 

.

. 

. 

. 

. 

Where are you now?

AMYGDALA OVERDRIVE : Sink and settle into the memory; the crystallized Seolite-ceramic cheeks of the boy you found in the alleyway? Such a short call, short case, open and shut. Never mind that you spent hours after the body was shipped off to the morgue, looking through file after file for where you'd seen him before when all you needed to look was in the mirror?

PREFRONTAL CORTEX: Never forget where you'd be if you're not careful. Every step measured. 

AMYGDALA OVERDRIVE: Seventeen years sweet, only a year after he could have followed in your heavy boot-steps, badge, gun, file the wrecks of people’s lives one address at a time. 

PREFRONTAL CORTEX: For all the good that would have done him. 

AMYGDALA OVERDRIVE: For all the difference it made, see how the crystals crawl up your spine …

. 

. 

. 

“Hey, hey. There you are! You probably missed the all-clear, but uh -- “ 

That voice. Very familiar. Something you were looking for in it? You blink, something white and strange popping at the edges of your vision.

Two huge hands, warm, so _warm_ bracing you on either side of your neck. 

“Shit, Kim? Fuck, Kim, you okay?"

Ah. This is Harry Du Bois. 

ACE [Legendary: Failure]: Man, I am begging you to keep it cool right now. 

The cold air whispers its agreement, encouraging you with silvered-sweet words to stay where you are. You collapse slightly as you try to stand.

1\. "M'alright."

2\. **"Khm. Harry?"**

3\. Say nothing. Focus on your breathing. 

"Yeah, uh, hold on to me, sorry, I --"

You try to head that off but your focus is on your feet now, one in front of the other. The shiver that goes through you, full bodied-- 

WHISPER LIGHT [Trivial: Success]: You're cold. 

1\. **"Shit."**

"I'll say, uhuh," Harry's size and strength means he can easily guide you through the blur of the oncoming snow. When did the storm catch up with you? 

GENIUS LOCI [Medium: Success]: Not long, the wind hit your cheeks with the onslaught of flakes just before the memories dragged you under. You’re only a moment out of step. 

Your muscles ache as you shudder, from the cold, from exhaustion, you can hardly tell at this point. Taking a step very nearly _hurts_ , your toes numb inside soaked boots. You manage to keep your footing on the steps to the empty boardwalk. You focus on the absence of the washer woman, snow gathering where she was before, as you climb up to the spare cabin. 

Harry opens the door with a key. You wonder distantly why he never returned that. 

QUICK DRAW [Medium: Success]: FOCUS ON YOUR BREATHING. 

A dizzying rush of warmth hits you as the door closes behind you. You squint through the snow on your glasses, the fog from the warmth making them worse. Though you’re near-blind, Harry guides you to a seat on the bed. 

TRIVIA [Medium: Success]: Clothing exposed to the cold will not help recovery from mild to moderate hypothermia. Passive heating requires warm cover. 

Your lips are unbearably heavy but you can probably get a word or two out. Or one. 

1. **"...coat…"**

2\. "... blanket?"

3\. "...cold." 

Harry blinks, shrugging off his own coat-- you shake your head, shifting your shaking arms. His brow furrows with realization, before he moves quickly, slipping the jacket off your shoulders and replacing it with the worn rough blankets on the bed. 

1. **Lean into his touch.**

It's unconscious, his fingertips like tiny coals, bare underneath those blue gloves. He swallows and nods, almost to himself, before he climbs into your lap, legs bracketing yours and arms enveloping your body with heat.

JOIE DE VIE [Trivial: Success]: Oh _fuck._

QUICK DRAW [Medium: Success]: FOCUS. ON. YOUR BREATHING. 

As if under some strange command he presses his lips to yours all too fast, breathing a flurry of coffee aftertaste, sugar and city smoke rushing into your lungs like an inferno. 

You half-laugh into it with quivering lips, which turns into a wracking cough. Harry looks stricken, as if he's suddenly put together where he is, what he's done. He tries to shuffle away.

"Sorry, sorry -- I thought, warming up the air in you, that it might help--" 

You just barely manage to laugh again, gripping his shoulder gently. 

1\. "Can't say it did, but ...the thought is appreciated."

2\. **"I** **think it may have. I may be biased on the subject."**

A smile splits into his face, whole hearted and almost manic. So different from the pain in his chalkboard-nails grin the day you met him.

You do feel marginally better, leaning your forehead against the bare patch of skin by his shirt collar. Easier to breathe in, out. 

God he's so _warm_. 

"Oh, I've got, hold on--" he shifts away. A small noise of discomfort escapes your throat unconsciously.

ACE [Trivial: Success]: Please never make that sound again. 

STARGAZER [Challenging: Success]: It's him, though -- you're asking him for the same vulnerability, you can't refuse it to him. 

He sits besides you, awkwardly laying an arm over your shoulder, fiddling with a vacuum flask. 

SACRE COEUR [Medium: Success]: He was worried sitting in your lap was a little ridiculous. 

ACE [Trivial: Success]: HE WAS RIGHT.

JOIE DE VIE [Easy: Success]: You liked it. Its absence aches like the numbness in your toes. 

**1\. Toes? Right, try to take off your wet boots.**

2\. Wonder about the vacuum flask.

3\. Say nothing, keep Harry's arm around you. 

You pull off your gloves, the illusion of control badly spoiled by the way your hands are still shaking. You start to unspool the frosted laces with clumsy hands. You bend down to try and see just as Harry drops to his knees, knocking your foreheads together. 

“Oh, shit, um -- I got it,” he reaches for your laces. 

1\. **Let** **him.  
**

2\. [Ace: Challenging - RED] Knock his hand away. 

You pull the blanket around your shoulders carefully, watching the lines on his forehead knot and furrow as he works through the laces. He frowns at your socks, soaked at the tips, and pulls them off too before you can protest. He cups your feet between his hands gently, using the thumbs to work out the cold. 

JOIE DE VIE [Challenging: Success]: It’s hot, in a really weird way. 

ANALYST [Challenging: Success]: Cannot _believe_ we are discovering new fetishes while hypothermic. 

Harry’s hands move up to your thighs, rubbing them just gently -- he slows, seeming to realize something. 

JOIE DE VIE [Trivial: Success] : Oh no, don’t stop -- 

GENTLEMAN [Trivial: Success]: I hate to put a damper on things, but is now _really_ the time for this? 

1\. Tell Harry to stop.

2\. **Catch** **his arm and pull him back onto the bed.  
**

3\. [Joie de Vie: Legendary - RED] Put his hand on your cock. 

He half-nods sheepishly when you take his hand, picking up the vacuum flask and twisting it open as he sits next to you. 

"I think I've still got some coffee over here, if you can take it.”

GENTLEMAN [Easy: Success]: This will be your third of the day then. An unusual additional indulgence. 

ANALYST [Easy: Success]: Yeah, because today is definitely a _usual_ day. 

1. **Take it slow, but try to sip the coffee.**

2\. Shake your head and wait.

You nearly gag it’s so sweet, but then your tongue gets used to it and you take a sip more. Harry’s eyes crinkle at the edges as he holds it to your lips. 

TRIVIA [Medium: Success]: A sweet hot drink will accelerate recovery from hypothermia. Caffeine has the capacity to make it worse, in some cases. 

“Oh yeah, I know you don’t take it with sugar, but I guess that’ll help,” Harry looks a bit sheepish. You wonder if he drank coffee before he met you. He takes a quick swig from what’s left. 

MACHINIST [Medium: Success]: He didn’t, actually. He’s using it as a replacement for the stronger stuff. 

He sets the vacuum flask down, mumbling something incoherent. You swallow your pride, tuck your head on his shoulder before he moves away. You’re rewarded by his arm around you again, his smile against your forehead. 

You scan the room. It’s small. Neat. You imagined what this room was like multiple times, in the evenings alone at the Whirling-in-Rags. It can’t have been worse than his trashed hotel room. 

STARGAZER [Easy: Success]: It’s the best you could hope for, for him. 

GEAR HEAD [Medium: Success]: With a bit of work, some more furniture, it could be a home. 

Seeing a new red kettle on the stove, almost cheery, reminds you of where you should have been at this moment. 

1\. **“I’m sorry. We were supposed to have a nice evening.”**

2\. “I overreacted.”

3\. “I think perhaps I should have slept longer this morning.

He squeezes you tightly, “No, shit, I’m sorry. I know you were looking for me -- and it _was_ my coat that was out there. I went back as soon as I heard the call, gave it to this guy who I thought could use it. For all the good it did. He’s in my old room at Whirling-in-Rags, though. Case closed.”

1\. “I **must have missed when you called it in.”**

2\. Nod, pressing your face into his neck. 

3\. “You paid for a hotel room for a homeless man?”

4\. “Ah. That makes sense.” [Conclude]

“Yeah, I almost forgot to. Alice radioed back to say you’d ran out, and I kind of followed my head till I found you.”

1\. **Nod, pressing your face into his neck.  
**

2\. “You paid for a hotel room for a homeless man?”

3\. “Ah. That makes sense.” [Conclude]

There’s little else to say besides that. You could be embarrassed. 

SACRE COEUR [Trivial: Success]: There’s no need for either of you to be. You’ve seen him do worse. Near the same. 

MEMENTO MORI [Challenging: Success]: The scales tip even for you both. 

  1. **“You paid for a hotel room for a homeless man?”  
**
  2. “Ah. That makes sense.” [Conclude]



“Not exactly. I talked Garte into it. The business has been getting better, with more pinball. I’ll go by after tomorrow, make sure the guy makes it home,” Harry winces. 

SACRE COEUR [Medium: Success]: This is equal parts therapeutic and painful for him. 

  1. **“Ah. That makes sense.” [Conclude]**



“Yeah, sorry I made you chase after me like ...one of your exes, or whatever …” he mumbles, not meeting your eyes. 

  1. **Reassure him.  
**
  2. Just nod. ****



“None of my previous …” partners? Trysts? These words are all wrong, for what little you had with those men, “lovers would have gone after me. They wouldn’t have even considered it. Thank you.”

JOIE DE VIE [Challenging: Success]: Lovers, huh. You need to count _him_ among them, soon as you can. 

ANALYST [Challenging: Success]: Good things are worth waiting for. 

STARGAZER [Trivial: Success]: He’s good. You knew that from the first day. 

“Oh, um. Yeah. Course I’ll always come for you, you know, you -- “ he breaks off, words failing him. Proving your thoughts right, effortlessly. 

SACRE COEUR [Trivial: Success]: It’s unbelievably endearing.

JOIE DE VIE [Easy: Success]: Kiss him!

When you lean in, you miss his lips as he bounces up excitedly, remembering something. The taste of the corner of his mouth is still sweet enough to send a shiver through you, though. 

“Oh! But I did get kebabs on the way here, that’ll probably help,” he smiles sheepishly, producing a warm bag from inside his cloak. He kisses you in answer, clumsy and almost shy. 

DISCOURSE [Medium: Success]: Okay, now’s your chance to bring things back to your corner. 

1\. Stare in amazement at the kebabs.

2. **“That’s good. If we can, we should probably wait for the storm to let up.”**

“Smart. You're so smart." He repeats, half to himself.

1\. “Not today.”

2. **Say nothing, let him take out the food.**

Harry arranges what could be a picnic on the dusty bed covers, three different varieties of street meat that smell incredible, considering how little you ate today. When you bite into the sweet-and-tangy chicken, you realize they’re the Oranje variety, the one you mentioned favoring. Harry babbles excitedly about discovering different take-out places around town, how he can’t quite remember how they used to taste but it feels _different_ now. 

ANALYST [Medium: Success]: That would be the effects of sobriety.

SACRE COEUR [Medium: Success]: You don’t need to mention that right now, though. 

The light filtering from the windows goes dark, but the glass panes continue to rattle against their wood frames. Chattering like the town is trying to tell you something. Harry finds an old radio above the bed, turns on a few stations that you listen to. You talk in low voices, tangled together on the bed. Your head feels heavy. 

STARGAZER [Medium: Success]: Insomnia has been breathing down his neck, same as you. 

SACRE COEUR [Trivial: Success]: He sleeps worse than you do, most nights.

  1. **Reach over and switch off the radio.  
**
  2. [Joie de Vie: Challenging] Make a move on him. 



Harry mumbles something between “glad you’re okay” and “wished you were here, before.” It’s akin to sweet nothings. You throw the blanket so that it just barely covers the both of you on the bed. ‘Before’. His whisper lingers. The splintered wood at the ceiling stares back at you as you settle in, feeling profoundly lucky you got a second chance to be here. Together.

GENIUS LOCI [Challenging: Success]: The city wanted that for the both of you. 

You let your eyes slide shut, surrounded by warmth. 

When you open them the light has changed -- significantly. 

**BREAKTHROUGH IMMINENT: Recovery Likelihood Calculus**

You’ve slept a long time. Harry is still asleep beside you, his chest rising and falling evenly. You watch it for a moment before returning to your thoughts.

**Recovery Likelihood Calculus:** Sobriety is a difficult matter. Recovery even more so. You will be part of Harry’s safety net; without a question. Make sure it’s on his terms. He’s willing to do a lot for you, but it won’t just be for you. You can trust that much. 

(+1 Sacre Coeur, +2 Gentleman) 

The teenage boy, frozen in the alley, flashes back to your mind for a brief moment. You steady yourself on Harry’s hand, feeling his calluses with your bare fingertips. Your gloves rest on the tabletop, still damp, your coat underneath them. There are many outcomes. Not all of which you can control. 

His eyes flicker open; he’s here. So are you. That’s the outcome you can count on, now.

**Author's Note:**

> I again would like to thank my beta, Fyu, with my whole heart. This fic wouldn’t be half of what it is without you. 
> 
> I would also like to thank my palemate for fielding some questions about French <> <> <>
> 
> The conversation that is implied between Harry and Kim has not been written anywhere (yet) but I did mentioned it in my other fic, linked in this series. Maybe I’ll write it someday, if inspiration strikes. 
> 
> Kim's story about rescuing Harry in the snow can happen in game! It did to me, basically if you pass out flashing back to your case notes while Kim is away he comes back for you!
> 
> The amygdala/prefrontal cortex are both known to be affected by PTSD. They’re a sort of foil to Harry’s Limbic/Reptilian. Albeit somewhat less assholes. 
> 
> As promised, the description of Kim’s Skills (not invented by me, but damn, I want these to become fanon!)
> 
> Intellect  
> Trivia - remember practical details  
> Analyst - understand tricky situations, enjoy when things make sense  
> Chameleon - slip into roles, critique the performance of others  
> Discourse - hold conversations with aplomb
> 
> Physique  
> Machinist - understand the material world and how it fits together  
> Genius Loci - know the feel of the city under your skin  
> Memento Mori - know that death is coming for us all  
> Joie de Vie - find pleasure in life and your body
> 
> Motorics  
> Ace - be the coolest fucker in Revachol  
> Gear Head - fix, upgrade and improve things around you  
> Whisper Light - pick up on fine details  
> Quick Draw - be highly strung but still alive
> 
> Psyche  
> Officer - know all the cop protocols, assert yourself among other officers  
> Gentleman - understand etiquette, act with honour  
> Stargazer - draw lines between disparate points  
> Sacre Coeur - have a tender heart, feel the pain of others
> 
> The voices here were a delight to write. Every time Ace pouted I grinned like a maniac. Also, much like Electrochem, Joie de Vie makes me cackle. I felt for Quick Draw/Whisper Light here, disadvantaged, heh. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed! Comments are so very welcome. You can find me at gutterinouterspace.tumblr for more feral Disco posting. <3


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